walking shoulder to shoulder than face to face..
an amazing video
William Ury: The walk from "no" to "yes" | Video on TED.com
Let me give give you just a story, an example. About 20 years ago I was in South Africa working with the parties in that conflict, and I had an extra month, so I spent some time living with several groups of San Bushmen. I was curious about them and about the way in which they resolve conflict. Because, after all, within living memory, they were hunters and gatherers, living pretty much like our ancestors lived for maybe 99 percent of the human story. And all the men have these poison arrows that they use for hunting -- absolutely fatal. So how do they deal with their differences? Well what I learned is whenever tempers rise in those communities, someone goes and hides the poison arrows out in the bush, and then everyone sits around in a circle like this, and they sit, and they talk, and they talk. It may take two days, three days, four days, but they don't rest until they find a resolution, or better yet, a reconciliation. And if tempers are still too high, then they send someone off to visit some relatives as a cooling off period.
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